What a dumbass

So on careful reflection the title "does everything you pickle taste of vinegar" is probably a good title for a daily post, but not the whole blog, damn me and my faux computer literacy. In modern terminology I am officially a nOOb!

Anyway, I decided I was going to stride headlong in to the world of blogging. You see I am thinking of getting the kids to do it - not as dodgy as it sounds, I work in a school! I thought a personal blog would be a really cool activity for them, but you can't feed a baby milk without testing the warmth first - if you get the metaphor? So this is me suckling at the teat of a blog. OK possibly the worst and most disturbing metaphor ever uttered – good start.

If I am completely honest I also need a forum that encourages a writing habit. You see I have a passion for writing, but not really a talent for it. I am a pretty emotive guy all things considered and despite not really being famed for my intellect I do a lot of thinking, too much in fact. To be quite frank I find it difficult to unwind and relax. So this will be an area to post poems, vent my spleen and talk about crap anonymously (that’s a word right?) It will actually be cool to post stuff and not have lots of friends see it, unlike the very public domain that is facebook, stupid time sink sack of crap that it is!

So let’s get straight on with the boring task of talking about anything vaguely interesting happening in my world. Well last night was an odd one. I went bed pretty much in the mood after stumbling upon an article in Cosmo about sex positions. I know what you are thinking what is a late 20's hetero man doing reading Cosmo? well it is all completely innocent, honest! I am not some depraved loony who gets his kicks from the erotic suggestions emblazoned throughout a magazine whose key demographic is clearly not me. Besides I have porn for that! No, I happened to stumble on the link via yahoo news. Anyway, that was a pretty pointless segue. So I went to bed ready for some sweet, sweet monkey loving, as it is known by erm...well I guess it’s just monkeys that use the term, but you get me right? And the trouble and strife (incidentally Devonians probably shouldn't try the cockney rhyming slang things should we?) was blatantly not in the mood for the aforementioned simian sexcapades. So an early night was on the cards. Which was fine and sleep was upon me uncharacteristically quickly (I have sleep issues, more on that later), but I had a really eerie dream that was all about me losing my granddad (pops the legend) and how I was dealing with that. It ended in scary fashion with me telling his ghost to “move on”, he then disappeared and turned in to a small bug and started attacking my back. I woke up all flustered and stuff, despite the fact I was aware it was a dream – bad times.


I chose this morning to wear a baby blue jumper I have owned for a while and it is not a look I will repeat. I have had to face all kinds of gay accusations today – I’m sure the Cosmo reading doesn’t help mind! Oh and the watching of glee, which was quite bizarre in so much as Kurt’s experience of losing his father kind of mirrored the dream I had – spooky stuff eh?

Anyhoo. I could type all night after quite an eventful day, but I won’t. On the off-chance I pick  up a reader. Moral question: If a student gives you inspiration, is pinching that idea for your own uses immoral – I’m gonna do it anyway, I just want  t know how much guilt i’m required to feel!